I’m giving myself a short holiday so my brain cells can recuperate (now that was just an excuse). It’s raining so heavily. Whatever that’s pouring down is definitely a polluted mixture of haze particles and maybe dilute sulfuric acid.

A Math was quite good. In fact, all the math papers were good. Thankfully, I didn’t waste time studying for them. After math, while almost everyone else was celebrating, a group of music people trooped down to Macs. No, not to celebrate – to study. Sadly, the speakers were blasting loud pop music. Our poor eardrums had to contend with that, plus ipods practically screaming the Symphony 104 at our trembling eardrums.

I’m either going to not pass music, or I’ll fail it. I dedicated at least 15 hours the past 2 weeks (not including music history) studying Haydn’s life and music – everything except his early years. I was stunned at the essay question and only managed to jot down a few miserable points. And unprepared listening was… sigh. I also didn’t know the amount of time I had left. So I spent a good 10 minutes analysing 4 marks worth of one of the symphony questions. For MYE, I wasn’t in a right state of mind, so I took the exam with confident carelessness. This time, I was fully conscious and therefore, I will be mentally prepared.

I’m as deaf as before, which might be good. At least my ears didn’t get worse. And since it’s permanent damage, no one is expecting a revival. Consultation fees decrease with the number of visits to the specialist. When I compared the 2 receipts, this visit was $25 less. Octoscopy and audiogram remain the same. If not for being under Shenton insurance thing, the medical bill might have cost a bomb. Then again, considering the amount of hard work the doc had to put in to earn his degrees, he deserves it.

The doc made a good point today. When you’re performing (could be a musical performance), try not to be stressed. Stress is self-generated. Think about it, when you’re watching someone trembling on stage and fumbling with whatever he’s trying to do (his fingering or bowing), you feel stressed for the person, right? But if the person under the spotlight does not appear nervous and enjoys what he does, you start to enjoy the whole performance too. Therefore, when you’re a performer, you’re the root of all stress. In a very SS way, that’s the problem that needs to be solved.

The paragraph on top was in response to my answer when he asked if I wanted a musical career. I said no, because I had to be very good to make it out there. That, which I obviously lack. It would mean I must have spent at least 70% of my childhood in a prestigious music school, and won some violin competitions. So I’ll stick to being an engine. Maybe I’ll see Ariela in NUS engineering faculty 3 years later. Music is just there to err… make both sides of my brain a little more balanced.